“I’m not capable of suffering completely. I never have. It goes only down to a certain point and then it stops. As long as there is that untouched point, it’s not really pain.” The Fountainhead
It’s been a while since this quote comes to my mind. But somehow the way I relate to it is different than what I think it was originally intended to mean.
Yes the pain stops at some point but only because I don’t allow my self to understand. It’s like there is the point of realization that it is all real. That my sister is truly gone. But I can’t allow myself to understand or accept that.
So despite all this horrible pain. It goes only down to a certain point and then it stops.